Fandino: What it's like having a birthday on 9/11

I bet that made your eyebrows jump. That is unless you are a fellow 9/11 baby yourself, then maybe you let out a sigh of relief instead. 

It’s not often you meet someone with the same birthday as you, especially if you share a birthday with the most deadly attack in United States history. Morbid, I know, but to share a birthday on this date with someone else means to have shared a lifetime of hearing “Wow! I’m so sorry,” or “Do you actually celebrate it?” 

To answer this question, yes, I actually do. It’s my birthday, and believe it or not, I’m happy I was born!

The reactions don’t end there. When I go to appointments, when I hand over my ID, or when I meet someone new, I feel this strange sense of shame just before the information is relayed. I’ve learned to prepare myself for the worst, as some people just cannot contain their reactions or comments (thanks a lot random pharmacist lady from last week). 

Whether it’s a full-blown cringe, or visibly struggling to stifle your reaction out of politeness, it’s always expected. To those who actually try to hide it, on behalf of all 9/11 babies, thank you for trying to not make us feel guilty about it!

I grew up attending catholic school, where on a normal day every start of class began with a recitation of the Our Father prayer. 9/11 particularly was always a day chock full of prayer at my elementary, middle, and high school. On this grim fall day, for the first 17 years of my life, I attended mass, a 9/11 assembly, recited a 9/11 prayer, as well as going over the details of the attacks in each of my classes. 

“Quite the day to be giggling in the halls,” said my high school P.E. teacher, her voice still ringing in my ears as I walk through campus on my birthday to this day. 

So the topic of my birthday, understandably so, was always the last thing on most of my peers and educators’ minds (at least, until I whipped out those birthday cupcakes).

I have no personal connection to the tragedy myself, and for that I am thankful. Yet at the same time, I am reminded of it almost daily. All the while I’m from a generation that never experienced it, but of course, still recognizes the gravity. These reactions are not something that will last for only a few years, but my entire life. 

The truth is; I’ve felt guilty about bringing up my birthday for as long as I can remember. I’m supposed to be happy, because it’s a celebration of my new year in life, but at the same time, my heart is heavy thinking not only about the thousands of innocent people who lost their lives, but the families who are still grieving. Always conflicted on whether or not I should wear a birthday sash or crown, something that I still have never done. Something that most girls got to do without a second thought. Doing all that I could to not seem ignorant in the case I do see someone who has a connection. 

It may seem like I am going extremely out of my way to please and prove my morality to others, and I am. Because my birthday is not a joyous day for most people, and that’s okay. However, I have been told countless times to “shamelessly celebrate.”

The slim silver lining here is that there are actually a good number of Americans born on this date. There’s even a Facebook group for it, entitled “Yes my birthday is on 9/11” where people of all ages, both pre and post 9/11 share their thoughts, feelings, and general opinions on what it’s like to be born on that day. It’s a place where people who might feel lonely having this tragic birth date can come together, celebrate, and relate to one another. 

Yes, I do wish I was born on a happier day. While it doesn’t feel right on the day of the worst attack in our country to publicly announce that it is my birthday, and everyone should celebrate me, I am thankful for those who always do remember, and really do want to celebrate. While most of the day is melancholic, I know that at the end of it there are people waiting back at home to make me feel special. 

Which, given the circumstances, is most certainly enough for me. 

Your donation will support the student journalists of Rowan University. Your contribution will allow us to purchase equipment and cover our annual website hosting costs.