Barbara and David Trafford have a love story spanning more than 50 years began with one look, a gin-and-tonic on a patio, a European tour and two marriage proposals.
The Collingwood couple celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary with friends and family last weekend in a neighbour's backyard.
Both Barbara and David have a hard time believing it's been 50 years since they were wed in North Toronto in 1974.
"It's gone so quickly," said David.
"It amazes me that 50 years have passed," said Barbara, while cuddling up to David on a love seat in their living room.
Barbara and David met in their 20s at the Royal Canadian Yacht Club. Barbara was already working as a teacher and worked at the Yacht Club. David had finished university and planned an easy summer, but reluctantly took a job his brother got for him at the club.
Barbara saw David on the day he came in for his interview and made sure to wait for him to be on shift so she could sit on the patio and order a gin-and-tonic from him. At a social gathering for Yacht Club employees David and Barbara sat together.
"We spent the evening chit-chatting and forever after that we were together," said David.
Barbara went to Europe in September with a girlfriend, and David met her in Rome, where he made his first marriage proposal.
"She said no," said David. "I was surprised."
But he wasn't discouraged, and a little while later he asked again, this time in Florence.
"I wanted to have my own statue of David, so I said yes," joked Barbara.
The two were wed the following summer. They went camping in Quebec for their honeymoon, equipped with all the gear they would need given to them by the guests at their wedding shower. They still use the Coleman stove they got at that shower 50 years ago.
Both David and Barbara worked as teachers in Toronto for the first decade of their marriage. They had three boys, including a set of twins.
Barbara and David Trafford on their wedding day in 1974 in North Toronto. Contributed photoThe births of their children still stand out as significant moments in their marriage. David remembers the call he got at work after Barbara found out her second pregnancy was twins.
While living in Toronto, the Traffords made regular trips to Blue Mountain, their parents were members at Craigleith Ski Club.
"Our plan was like everyone else in Toronto who wanted to ski, you got in the car Friday night, you drove north, and then you came back Sunday," said David.
One particular trip was less than smooth, prompting a reconsideration of the plan.
"We had our three boys and Barbara's mom and the two of us, so a full vehicle, and we had an absolute terrible drive in a blizzard," recalled David.
They decided not to do that again.
"I said plant and water me, because we're not leaving Collingwood," said Barbara, who was a French teacher and found a local job easily.
The next weekend they looked at houses, and purchased their first Collingwood home on Ste. Marie Street. They later owned and operated "A Fine Place" bed and breakfast on Cedar Street and now live on Dillon Drive.
The name of the B&B, and David's handyman business "a fine man" comes from David's regular and positive response to life's questions.
"His favourite word is always fine," said Barbara. "What would you like to do, go biking or hiking? 'Fine' What do you want for dinner? Lasagna? 'Fine' For 50 years, everything's been fine."
"Our three boys are fine, and our five grandchildren are absolutely fine," said Barbara. "Everybody is fine. Life is fine."
"It's the best word, when you use it," said Barbara to David.
David became a charter member of the Collingwood Optimist Club, and remains a member today. He was a local teacher for nearly every grade and special education, and also worked in administration as a vice-principal. He continues to be a hard-working volunteer with the Optimist Club, 100 Men Who Care, and with their two churches. They are also members of two PROBUS clubs, which keep their social calendars full.
Barbara has picked up part-time work after retiring from teaching at the Cheese Gallery, at Crave and as an ambassador for the former Club Intrawest.
She also served for more than 10 years as a hospital volunteer and was a member of the former Quota Club, a service club dedicated to raising money and supporting the hearing-impaired community.
Their marriage has been filled with memorable moments and adventures, like their 25th-anniversary trip to France, the births of their children and grandchildren, moving to Collingwood, running a B&B, family trips and more. The treasured times are always filled with people.
"What is momentous? Spending time with each and every family member and friend," said Barbara. "We've just lived every day to the fullest, or tried to. Except for nap time now!"
Their secret to 50 years of a happy marriage is to work through life as a team.
"Barbara is very likeable, so it's easy to spend time with a person you like," said David. "And we also share ... there's no real power structure ... we might banter back and forth and argue a bit about what to do, but in the end we're pretty compatible so I think it's made it easy to make those big decisions."
"And Barbara still laughs at my jokes, so that's a big thing."
Barbara said patience has been important, and remembering the good times when you need to.
"I would say, let things go if you're not happy at that moment," she said. "And be grateful."
Romance, it seems, also plays a role in their 50-year marriage.
Barbara keeps a letter to the editor she wrote to the local paper on Valentine's Day about how much she loves David.
"Somehow amidst the sleepless nights, processions to the emergency ward and the organized chaos of everyday life, David manages to give me a love that is as honest and refreshing as the day we were married," wrote Barbara in the 1982 letter. "Of course, David has his faults, but they are insignificant in light of his generous loving nature."
As if it's an exhibit to prove the truth of Barbara's letter, next to the newspaper clipping on the fridge, is a smaller square of newsprint, a classified ad purchased by David, with the words "Barbara Darling, You are my forever Valentine! Love David." Both the letter and classified ad are framed by a red heart cut from construction paper by a grandchild and wrinkled from years on a fridge in a well-used kitchen.
David and Barbara encourage each other to keep trying new things and meeting new people.
"Motion is lotion!" exclaims Barbara.
"It's so important to bring love and joy and to get love and joy," said Barbara. "I think everybody puts a lot into life, or they try to, there are ups and downs. I think we have to keep the world positive, and, you know, find joy and love."
