Cooper Koch Didn't Wear a Prosthetic Penis in 'Monsters'

By Jason P. Frank, a Vulture writer covering comedy, theater, and music

All gay men face the same danger on Watch What Happens Live! — queening out for all the world to see in a manner unbecoming. Maybe it’s the combination of Andy Cohen’s gayness, a few cocktails, and a live television audience, but it happens every time. The latest celebrity to learn this lesson is Cooper Koch, of Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story, who ended up giving a master class in gay outlandishness. Alongside his fellow guest, Finneas, Koch provided out-of-pocket soundbites, reamed out some former enemies, and was generally just on one. Our three favorite moments below:

1. When he bragged about his penis size

Here’s something that was entirely unforced: Koch brought up that he did not wear a prosthetic penis in Monsters, prompting Cohen to congratulate him. “Well … hung,” Koch says in response. Good for him. We guess?

2. When he dapped up Finneas using a “straight” voice

After a caller asked Koch about an old acting teacher who told him he couldn’t book roles because he has a gay voice, Koch decided to give a little audition for any directors watching by donning a “straight” voice (deeper) and dapping up Finneas. “You’d never know,” Finneas confirms.

3. When he made sarcastic crying hands after saying he has a boyfriend

Fans asked Koch if he has a boyfriend, to which he revealed that “I do have a boyfriend, so …” Then, just to twist the knife into the thirsty gay men watching, he made little crying hands and sarcastically mouthed, “Sorry.” What a little bitch! We’re fans.