Sam's message for RUOK Day is you're not alone

Nearly half of all Australian adults will face mental ill-health at some point in their life, and one-in-five say their mental health is being worsened by the cost-of-living crisis.

Subscribe now for unlimited access.

Sam is a 22-year-old man who struggled with depression after two deaths in his family. He's telling his story for RUOK Day on September 12.

RUOK Day's message is that having regular, meaningful conversations with the people around us can make a difference - and save lives.

Sam is from Sydney's north but he could come from any of our communities.

Sam's story

I always try to be the life of the party. I like to think people know me as someone with boundless energy, and a knack for lifting others' spirits. But behind the smile, I've carried a weight that few could see.

For years, I've battled with my mental health, grappling with anxiety and bouts of depression that seemed to come out of nowhere, threatening to drown me in a sea of hopelessness.

Growing up, I felt an unspoken pressure to be perfect. Whether it was excelling in school, being a supportive friend, or being the rock my family relied on, the expectations were relentless. The facade began to crack when I faced a series of heartbreaking losses.

Left a void

During my later high school years, I faced the profound loss of my granddad to cancer. He was the first family member I had ever lost, and his passing left a deep void in my life.

Struggling to process my grief while trying to meet the expectations placed on me, I found myself grappling with suicidal thoughts for the first time.

On top of being bullied and struggling socially, the weight of his loss intensified my anxiety and depression, but I kept pushing through, believing I had to stay strong for those around me.

Therapy and seeing my school counsellor became my lifeline, helping me unpack my feelings and reclaim my life.

Year 12 ended and I ventured into the real world. Just as I was beginning to heal, I was hit with another wave of grief in 2022 when I learned that my Nan had been diagnosed with terminal cancer.

She lost her fight late last year and the overwhelming sorrow reopened old wounds, leaving me feeling like the ground had been pulled out from under me.

I was worse off than at the end of high school, again grappling with suicidal thoughts, overwhelming helplessness and uncontrollable tears.

Reached out for support

Despite the darkness, I gradually reached out for support once more - this time from a professional as well as friends. It was a challenging journey, but I eventually received the help I desperately needed. I continue to receive it today.

I confided in many of my closest friends, many of whom are also in Rovers in Scouts NSW.

Staying social within the Rovers community, spending time outdoors, and regularly going to the gym were some of the strategies that helped me navigate my toughest times.

I was in my late teens to early 20s when all of this happened. I believed that men in their 20s needed to be strong and carefree, as it's supposed to be one of the best times of your life.

It wasn't until I learned that only one-in-10 Australians seek professional help that I realised I wasn't alone. The more research I did, the more shocked I became.

Alarming figures

In recent years, on average, 3,318 Australians took their own lives - that's 63 people every week. And for every person who did, another 20 attempted to.

Suicide is the leading cause of death for people aged between 15-44.

Hearing stories from my closest friends made me realise that I wasn't alone. I found myself wanting to open up further about my experiences and struggles. I realised that by telling my story, I could help others feel less alone.

Reach out for help

My message is that it's okay not to be okay, and that reaching out for help is a sign of courage, not weakness.

Now, more than ever, we need to be there for our mates, to lend an ear, and to encourage everyone to reach out. There is always a trained professional available 24/7, 365 days a year.

Sharing our stories shines a light for others to guide them through their own darkness. If me doing so can help even one person feel less alone, then it's been worth it.

RUOK Day is Thursday, September 12. For more information go to www.ruok.org.au.

More from Multimedia